2026-10-20 11:47:51 From Amy Ebbeson to Waiting room participants: We are so glad you are here! We'll start soon. 2026-10-20 11:56:04 From Amy Ebbeson to Waiting room participants: We are so glad you are here! We'll start soon. 2026-10-20 12:09:26 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Thanks so much for being here today! melanie:❤️ Stephen Montagna | Lexington, MA:👍🏼 2026-10-20 12:21:21 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: It's very heartening to see men here❤️ Bil Gardiner, Jordi Solà-Solé:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:22:27 From melanie to Everyone: ❤️ That part.. it's just delivered differently... 2026-10-20 12:22:43 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Nope 2026-10-20 12:22:43 From Geoff Tarulli to Everyone: Sex positive 2026-10-20 12:22:43 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: cougar? 2026-10-20 12:22:50 From Ricardo Basurto to Everyone: Empowered 2026-10-20 12:23:08 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: my male coworker says it doesn't exist Amy Ebbeson:👍 2026-10-20 12:23:23 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: I am a Cougar lolol Amy Ebbeson:😂 2026-10-20 12:23:51 From Geoff Tarulli to Everyone: slut 2026-10-20 12:23:57 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: The least offensive word I can think of is Non-Virgin but even that is offensive 2026-10-20 12:23:58 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: slut, whore, bimbo 2026-10-20 12:23:58 From Jeury Abreu (He/Him) to Everyone: There are a million 2026-10-20 12:24:00 From Steven (he/him) to Everyone: too many.. 2026-10-20 12:24:03 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Nympho 2026-10-20 12:24:16 From Jordi Solà-Solé to Everyone: Way more negative than positive, that's for sure zayid muhammad:👍 2026-10-20 12:24:38 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Open legs 2026-10-20 12:24:57 From Adrienne Martin and Mike Otto JPRC to Everyone: whore 2026-10-20 12:25:07 From Adrienne Martin and Mike Otto JPRC to Everyone: slut 2026-10-20 12:25:21 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Cum Bucket is a disgusting one I have heard 2026-10-20 12:25:29 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: On more than one occasion Kelsey Castillo Hopkins:😢 2026-10-20 12:26:58 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: We have had to fight for comprehensive sex ed in Worcester 2026-10-20 12:30:04 From Ricardo Basurto to Everyone: On prisons and ICE facilities here. Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 12:30:49 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: How can this be honestly done without the history? Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 12:33:16 From melanie to Everyone: Trauma, as carried in the body... as a scientific study was held back 100 years... because of the power of rich men in Vienna.. They wanted to deny that inconvenitent truth... most don't know Freud retracted his political cowardice and assertively declared... all his hysterical female patienct were indeed sexually abused. Another layer... the acceptance. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson, Aaliyah Bannister-Batie, Susu - Canada:💯 2026-10-20 12:33:29 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: capitalism, racism, colonialism, sexism- all oppression is connected Aaliyah Bannister-Batie:👍🏽 2026-10-20 12:34:10 From Joyce_Mcnickles to Everyone: Let's not forget about how rape as a weapon of war is also currently being used in Gaza by the IDF on Palestinian women. melanie, Joyce_Mcnickles, Ricardo Basurto:🎯 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson, Aaliyah Bannister-Batie:💔 2026-10-20 12:34:22 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "Trauma, as carried in the body... as a scientific ...": absolutely- Freud sold out women for his own status 2026-10-20 12:38:57 From Adonis Castillo Hopkins to Everyone: Yes Bravo Bill Amy Ebbeson, Bil Gardiner, Adonis Castillo Hopkins:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:39:34 From Richard Devine to Everyone: Thanks Joyce for speaking for Palestinian women -- also IDF is raping and murdering Palestinian men. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson:😡 2026-10-20 12:40:40 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "Thanks Joyce for speaking for Palestinian women --...": it shows how much this is about domination rather than sex melanie:❤️ melanie:🎯 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Aaliyah Bannister-Batie:💯 2026-10-20 12:42:07 From melanie to Everyone: Imagine... in the U.S. ...until 2013 there wasn't even a federal definition, legislation for SA against a man... Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 12:42:27 From Richard Devine to Everyone: How do I raise my hand? I can add about Murray Straus Richard Gelese and Suzanne einmetz Behind Closed Doors -- first national study of domestic harm Amy Ebbeson:👍 2026-10-20 12:42:47 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Ukumbwa, I appreciate you always including non binary identity in this convo! Aaliyah Bannister-Batie, melanie, Susu - Canada:❤️ Stephen Montagna | Lexington, MA:👍🏼 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 12:44:48 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Matriarchy centers the needs of children Ricardo Basurto:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:46:59 From Joyce_Mcnickles to Everyone: Thanks for holding this important conversation. I have to hop off now. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Kelsey Castillo Hopkins:💜 2026-10-20 12:48:11 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: TTT- Trauma of Colonization started with the presenter asking consent to teach- blew my mind! melanie, Heather Stanek, Susu - Canada:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:48:30 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: I have never asked consent to teach:( melanie:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:52:41 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Ricardo- it means so much that you are rejecting male peers doing harm- its so needed. melanie, Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Kelsey Castillo Hopkins:💜 2026-10-20 12:54:17 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: See something, say something.... Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):✊🏿 Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 12:55:27 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: Saying something could protect the next victim... Amy Ebbeson:❤️ Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 12:56:01 From melanie to Everyone: Speaking is prevention work... however uncomfortable. Heather Stanek:‼️ Bil Gardiner, Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 12:57:19 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "I have never asked consent to teach:(": Can you say more about that? 2026-10-20 12:58:11 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: But he has such a great future ahead of him...we shouldn't punish him too much 🤬 Bil Gardiner:👍🏼 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):😔 Amy Ebbeson:😡 Ricardo Basurto, Heather Stanek:🤬 2026-10-20 12:58:33 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "But he has such a great future ahead of him...we s...": Absolutely... 2026-10-20 12:59:45 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "I have never asked consent to teach:(": She started the session by asking permission and I recognized that was so far against the norm of authority just assuming consent. https://www.worcesteracts.org/node/19 2026-10-20 13:00:33 From Sean Carollo, CLPPP-CCB, he/him to Everyone: I need to jump for another meeting, but thank you so much for this forum! 2026-10-20 13:00:47 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "I need to jump for another meeting, but thank you ...": thank you! 2026-10-20 13:02:36 From Aaliyah Bannister-Batie to Everyone: This is an amazing presentation ! Thank you Amy for always bringing pertinent and impactful topics to the forefront. I have to drop for a legislative call but look forward to the next meeting. I would also be interested in potentially holding further conversations with the speakers. Thank you so much for this conversation Amy Ebbeson, Max Cook:❤️ Kelsey Castillo Hopkins:💜 2026-10-20 13:02:59 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): I will be back in 15-20 mins. I absolutely love this conversation. Amy Ebbeson:👍 2026-10-20 13:03:28 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Thank you Ukumbwa. We cannot continue to coddle the Patriarchy. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Amy Ebbeson, David Webb (he/him):👍 2026-10-20 13:03:57 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: We appreciate you Mike, we need so many more men to join you! Adrienne Martin and Mike Otto JPRC:❤️ Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:04:23 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Do what we ‘men’ must is a matter of principle Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:05:47 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "Thank you Ukumbwa. We cannot continue to coddle th...": agree- every issue gets framed around harm to men. patriarchy harms men- feminists expect more from men. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:08:42 From Bil Gardiner to Everyone: The same things happens when we talk about police officers behaving badly. “You can’t keep ‘bashing’ po’s because there are good po’s out there.” I was a police officer, and I did not feel badly when folks would speak negatively about bad behavior by police, because I KNEW that I was a GOOD police officer. Good men should not take curtailing patriarchy as a negative to themselves. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):✊🏿 Amy Ebbeson, Susu - Canada, David Webb (he/him), Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers):❤️ Steven (he/him):👍 2026-10-20 13:09:10 From Adrienne Martin and Mike Otto JPRC to Everyone: Thank you 2026-10-20 13:09:29 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: We need to interrogate why men get so upset when we talk about what men do and how the patriarchy is hurting people. Men need to interrogate THEMSELVES PERSONÀLLY when they get upset. As a White, I can never imagine asking or insisting that people "fix" how I might feel if someone speaks about "all" Whites. I don't want to be coddled. I don't want to be praised for my anti-racist acts. To me, why does a race or gender need to be praised for showing Basic Humanity??? Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):✊🏿 Steven (he/him):👍 Amy Ebbeson, David Webb (he/him):💯 2026-10-20 13:09:58 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Replying to "The same things happens when we talk about police ...": EXACTLY THIS Bil Gardiner, Amy Ebbeson:❤️ Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:11:57 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: It is exhausting to have to tap dance around misogynists and racists nonstop. No energy left to praise them should they decide to behave like decent humans. Put that energy where it belongs! Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they), Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:16:21 From Bil Gardiner to Everyone: A slap by anyone should be considered to be a gateway “drug” to more serious violence. Amy Ebbeson:👍 2026-10-20 13:18:15 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: I don't think it's accurate at all to say women are perpetrating violence at rates equal to or greater than men. Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):✊🏿 melanie:🎯 Max Cook, melanie, Susu - Canada:👏 Jordi Solà-Solé:💯 2026-10-20 13:19:09 From melanie to Everyone: Survial instincts... Reactionary abuse, is not the entrance point for prevention. Power... who had the power? Amy Ebbeson:❤️ Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:19:14 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: We also pay the price when we testify in court against our abusers. melanie:🎯 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 13:21:05 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): I muted him Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:21:09 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): He doesn’t know he’s muted Amy Ebbeson:😂 2026-10-20 13:22:38 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: The new film Free Joan Little could be a great tool to expand this point of self defense…She was a rare win…A very rare exception Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ Amy Ebbeson, melanie:👍 2026-10-20 13:22:39 From Amy Ebbeson to Kelsey Castillo Hopkins (direct message): I was thinking of doing that- thank you. 2026-10-20 13:24:10 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "The new film Free Joan Little could be a great too...": Thank you, brother. Note taken 2026-10-20 13:24:29 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Richard's point is lacking a power analysis- we do not live in a culture that values all identities equally. Heather Stanek:‼️ melanie:👍 Bil Gardiner:👍🏼 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:27:11 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "Richard's point is lacking a power analysis- we do...": With no power analysis, there is no resolution to this challenge Bil Gardiner:👍🏼 2026-10-20 13:28:42 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Thank you for that question? I am trying to bring this question and effort into Community Violence Intervention spaces…to move those efforts to the next level , if I may Amy Ebbeson, Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ 2026-10-20 13:29:25 From Richard Devine to Everyone: Cornell 8 is because one of the men has charged Jane Doe with rape because she was doing sex to one of the men while he was unconscious -- a crime in New York 2026-10-20 13:30:19 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "Cornell 8 is because one of the men has charged Ja...": ? 2026-10-20 13:31:05 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "Thank you for that question? I am trying to bring ...": Please bring that forward here if you will and I'd love to talk to you after this at some point, too. Thank you. 2026-10-20 13:31:22 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Male behavior and male priviilege Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 13:32:10 From Geoff Tarulli to Everyone: Thank you very much for the training! Have to get to work, so I have to duck out. Thanks! Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ 2026-10-20 13:32:27 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "Thank you very much for the training! Have to get ...": thanks for being here! Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:33:15 From melanie to Everyone: The reels put out recently by Men that start with ...."there was this time I was drunk.. and this woman ...." Powerful teaching tools. Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 13:33:19 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Sex for most people has become all about power. Not pleasure. Steven (he/him):👍 Amy Ebbeson:💯 2026-10-20 13:36:42 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Ukumbwa, Please share those mens group spaces u just cited… Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:37:05 From Kathy R to Everyone: I heard that a researcher studied 4 gang raped on campus I believe at Greek houses. All four had one thing in common, a man who objected, was called a homophobic word by someone of higher status, then the attack continued. How can we strengthen men be more persistent to speak up? Amy Ebbeson:❤️ zayid muhammad:👍 2026-10-20 13:38:33 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Replying to "I heard that a researcher studied 4 gang raped on ...": heterosexism is often the weapon used against men speaking up Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:41:14 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): Omg, I private messaged Richard to let him know that I muted him 2026-10-20 13:41:41 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): He responded back: “They are too hyper masculine they like to dominate -- I don't dominate, I facilitate” Amy Ebbeson:😂 2026-10-20 13:42:19 From Kathy R to Everyone: My concern is when there is actually attack in progress how to be persistent in the face of that groupthink that is so intense? Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 2026-10-20 13:42:20 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: Yet if she was blowing up his phone he would be pissed about that Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson:😂 2026-10-20 13:42:40 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: She would be too needy/clingy Amy Ebbeson:😂 2026-10-20 13:43:05 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): Then asked me how to see the chat... 2026-10-20 13:43:12 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Amy Ebbeson (direct message): So fuck that guy. I feel so done with him Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:44:16 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Almost all of my former partners have endured sexual assault…Tk u for naming that paradigm Ukumbwa Amy Ebbeson, Kathy R:💯 melanie:🙏 2026-10-20 13:45:33 From Amy Ebbeson to Kelsey Castillo Hopkins (direct message): Replying to "Then asked me how to see the chat...": so problematic 2026-10-20 13:45:44 From Amy Ebbeson to Kelsey Castillo Hopkins (direct message): Replying to "Then asked me how to see the chat...": He teaches at WSU 2026-10-20 13:46:05 From Amy Ebbeson to Kelsey Castillo Hopkins (direct message): Replying to "Then asked me how to see the chat...": no self awareness 2026-10-20 13:46:15 From Amy Ebbeson to Kelsey Castillo Hopkins (direct message): Replying to "Then asked me how to see the chat...": so much random name dropping 2026-10-20 13:47:34 From Richard Devine to Everyone: Replying to "A slap by anyone should be considered to be a gate...": I agree and have said so in my courses. For me it is not a gateway since I have never hit anyhone, male or female 2026-10-20 13:48:22 From Kathy R to Everyone: I remember in college being trained on consent, but are we training men to stop rape while it is happening? Amy Ebbeson:❤️ Bil Gardiner:👍🏼 2026-10-20 13:48:29 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Questin Walcott is great on situational tactics for challenges like this… Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ 2026-10-20 13:49:22 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Does not exist!!1 2026-10-20 13:49:31 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Everyone: You can sign up for the Worcester ACTs mailing list to receive emails about future Trauma Training Tuesdays and other Worcester ACTs programming: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/M9N2ExV. 2026-10-20 13:49:41 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Everyone: Thanks so much for being here today! We request you take less than a minute to complete this quick feedback form: https://forms.gle/48CNaBfYBmZbXQUF9 2026-10-20 13:51:56 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Look up Bystander Training Amy Ebbeson, Bil Gardiner:❤️ zayid muhammad:👍 2026-10-20 13:52:31 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Upstander training is another thing to search Amy Ebbeson, Bil Gardiner, Heather Stanek:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:53:49 From Bil Gardiner to Everyone: Replying to "Upstander training is another thing to search": Just looked it up. Very cool!!! Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ 2026-10-20 13:54:08 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Replying to "Look up Bystander Training": Needed the language. Q…Quentin is great with that Amy Ebbeson:👍 2026-10-20 13:54:35 From Kathy R to Everyone: Is there training specific to stop rape? Because these examples are less serious. How to train on serious intervention. 2026-10-20 13:54:39 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Everyone: Thanks so much for being here today! Thanks for giving us some quick feedback : https://forms.gle/48CNaBfYBmZbXQUF9 2026-10-20 13:55:36 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Aikido is a beautiful martial art!… Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):❤️ 2026-10-20 13:56:55 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Here's where the recording will be when it's ready- https://www.worcesteracts.org/node/99 2026-10-20 13:58:21 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Matriarchy now! melanie, Bil Gardiner:❤️ 2026-10-20 13:59:22 From Kelsey Castillo Hopkins to Everyone: Thanks for your feedback! https://forms.gle/48CNaBfYBmZbXQUF9 2026-10-20 13:59:49 From Steven (he/him) to Everyone: Thank you everyone 2026-10-20 13:59:53 From Edmund Adem to Everyone: Thank you 2026-10-20 13:59:59 From Max Cook to Everyone: As a transmasc individual, I am in a trans support group and we do talk about the fear of passing or presenting as "cis gendered" as many of us have had experienced violence by the hands of men in our own lives Stephen Montagna | Lexington, MA:👍🏼 Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they):👍🏿 Amy Ebbeson:💔 melanie:🙏 2026-10-20 14:00:45 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "As a transmasc individual, I am in a trans support...": Thank you so much for speaking to that and sharing your experience. 2026-10-20 14:00:46 From zayid muhammad to Everyone: Ukumnbwa, Assata would agree with u beloved…Great way to wind down…My contacts Zayid Muhammad, 973 202 0745 babazayid@gmail.com… Amy Ebbeson:❤️ 2026-10-20 14:01:28 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Peer groups are huge indicators of behavior. It seems so hard to combat. 2026-10-20 14:02:11 From Ukumbwa Sauti (he/they) to Everyone: Replying to "Ukumnbwa, Assata would agree with u beloved…Great ...": No greater compliment. 2026-10-20 14:02:13 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Maybe the conversations to young people should be less about consent and more about the humanity of all genders. 2026-10-20 14:04:31 From Amy Ebbeson to Everyone: Thanks again for being here! This topic is difficult and meaty and could likely use a Part 2! 2026-10-20 14:06:08 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: That is....conversations and trainings about consent perhaps can seem hypothetical and "distant". Plus, it is impossible to cover every possible situation where consent should be given. So if consent is tàlked about alongside the humanity and lived experiences of women (for example), perhaps a lot more of it would sink in. I mean, ask these trainees, "How would you feel or react if (insert thing) happened to you?" "Is there a woman or girl in your life that you love or even like? What feelings would you have is (insert thing) happened to her?" 2026-10-20 14:06:26 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Laws feél useless to me. 2026-10-20 14:06:50 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Replying to "Thanks again for being here! This topic is difficu...": YES PLEASE. PART 2!!!!!!!! 2026-10-20 14:07:06 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: Replying to "Thanks again for being here! This topic is difficu...": Agree!!! 2026-10-20 14:08:07 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Men are very good at whataboutism so use it in training about consent (giggle) Seriously....."whatabout if this happened to you or someone you love?" 2026-10-20 14:08:29 From Kathy R to Everyone: I know I am asking a very question difficult question. I do because it is such an important issue. FYI I have worked with sex offenders and studied rape with FBI trainers. 2026-10-20 14:08:50 From Max Cook to Everyone: Thank you so much! This was an incredible conversation 2026-10-20 14:09:22 From Tara Gazda - DMH (she, her, hers) to Everyone: Thank you for taking the time to talk about this 2026-10-20 14:09:28 From Susu - Canada to Everyone: Thank you for this, Amy, Stephen and Ukumbwa 2026-10-20 14:09:32 From Kathy R to Everyone: How do I save the chat